Sex education is a waste

Dr Mamoun Mubarak al-Dreby, a specialist in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy in Morocco, says that love is not implicit between men and women, but it is in a state of “being prepared for later." He said he did not approve the so-called sexual education. Dr Mamoun Mubarak al-Dreby who was chosen last year among the first five most influential figures in Morocco spoke of his scientific career in the field of psychoanalysis, as well as the stages of his education in France and media informatics. Dr Mamoun al-Dreby takes the words of Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him): "Wisdom is the aim of the believer, where he finds it he has the right to it," as his approach in scientific research. Dr Mamoun is the son of well-known Moroccan writer Mubarak al-Derby and he studied media informatics. However, the divine will, as he says, has made him specialise in psychoanalysis as well as study the depths of the human psyche. He is currently one of the most famous psychoanalysts and psychologists in Morocco. Arabstoday: How did you discover your passion of the world and science of human psychology? Mubarak al-Derby: I discovered it by mere coincidence, as I was studying media informatics in an institute in France. Since I come from a modest family; the scholarship was not enough to fulfill my needs such as food and clothing, it barely covered the expenses of university housing. Thus, I was obliged to find additional work. I found by chance a Foundation looking for trainees to teach young people across all disciplines. I applied in order to teach media informatics twice a week, and was accepted. My role was limited to helping specialised teachers to facilitate their task. I noted that students did not return to their homes after the lesson, but instead headed to their center. I later found out that this was a centre for the treatment of mental disorders. At that time, I did not know what is mental illness or mental disorder. I was very surprised because I found them ordinary and disciplined people. They do not appear to have any signs of psychological disorder. I decided to get a closer look, and asked the supervisor of the trainees to visit the students at the care center at the French city of Nantes. After I came in contact with specialized physicians who supervise the Center, they accepted the idea and welcomed me during the usual visiting hours. I discovered that it is a hospital with doctors, nurses and therapeutic equipment and facilities. Then, I decided to get closer to this field. I was keen to attend seminars, meetings and lectures held by the specialized doctors, who come from various cities for discussion and consultation on a particular disease. AT: What about your study of media informatics? MD: I did not stop my studies, because I used to teach twice a week in the institution. The surprising thing is that many students attended my class, and their feedback on my performance was very positive; because I understood their requirements and simplified the examples for them. I was surprised with the institution’s request to submit to a comprehensive curriculum that consisted of a variety of materials such as biology, emergency and preventive medicine, in addition to psychiatric and psychological analysis. However, what surprised me was the presence of a condition; is that who wants to become a specialist and promotes to higher positions has to analysis himself (he laughs). This requirement was not mandatory but optional. However, it piqued my curiosity, and I started asking about the process of self-psychoanalysis and how it is carried out. I discovered that there are specialists psychologists and I have to choose one of them and start the process of analysing myself so I know what happens with the others. I am curious and adore discovery, which made me apply and I enrolled. I asked one of the analysts to accept me. The analyst accepted my request after a year. AT: Why it took so long? MD: Whenever I went to see him, he postponed the appointment to the next month in order to measure the degree of my interest and my will. An entire year passed without losing hope or getting tired, because I want so much to understand the human psychology, and how we are born psychologically healthy but then may become mentally ill. The process of analysing I psychologically started and lasted for seven years, with three sessions per week which cost me large sums of money. AT: What happened after that? MD: Seven years later, I turned from a trainee in the institution into an official. I started wandering all over France, to attend the meetings in the area in which I specialized in, and I loved it only as a hobby, and the proof is that I never stopped my studies in media informatics. I worked at IBM and I used my salary to fund my psychoanalysis. AT: Do not you think that sexual education is important before marriage? MD: First, I do not approve this name; sexual culture in Western society is based on teaching children how to practice sexual relationship, and how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases. I agree with all that is scientific; God Almighty said in the Holy Book, "there is no embracement in religion", which means we are allowed to search and discuss all things for a better society. I do not think that teaching our children to have sexual relationships will be useful in anything, because nature is capable of this. Men and women do not need someone to teach them how to have sex, as they are capable of diligence and even creativity. I suggest a more suitable name, which is the feminine and masculine culture. The role of the first is to absorb the anger and passion of men, when the husband is angry and comes home for some reason, and his wife meet him angrily, the fight will start and the problem will become bigger. On the other hand, if she spoke gently and tried to extinguish and absorb his anger, she will win. The strength of women lies in the degree of absorption of men’s anger, which their mothers teach and advise her to obey her husband because the man is characterized by strength and attack, and another attack will not succeed with him. Softness and kindness are the two greatest weapons women own. The masculine culture and men’s status is hard to get to. It is a medal that men attach on his chest because men are strong. However, who owns the rush has always stupidity, and who is careful owns intelligence. The West deals with sexual matters as training and education, and confirms that in order for the child to know and discover, the child has to experience. As Muslim Moroccans, we boldly deal with these things in a scientific way and simplify it.