A role reversal in parenting

When Prahlad Krishnam oorthy's infant daughter Aashima wakes up bawling in the middle of the night, he is instantly by her side, calming the baby down and checking if she's wet, hungry or cold, before settling down with her on the rocking chair, gently cooing his princess back to sleep. All the while his wife Sarika sleeps blissfully in their bedroom, after a hard day's work. Sounds (un)familiar? With an increasing number of women taking over 'male dominated' sectors not just in terms of career, but also as bread winners of the family, it is not really a surprise that their male counterparts are now encroaching on what traditionally was considered to be a woman's ground. Yes, role reversal in parenting is what we are referring to. What's more, they seem to be doing an excellent job of it! The Cool Dad Image Celebrities seem to top the list when it comes to being role models for the new age daddy. With the dads of tinsel town (like Shah Rukh Khan, Akshay Kumar and our very own Sarath Kumar), displaying love for their offspring rather publicly on social networking forums and in the media, it is little wonder that the aam aadmi is drawing inspiration from them. "Cool dad? Definitely, it would have to be Obama," chirps Bharat, father of three-year-old Harsh. "I mean, look at him. He's the president of the United States, possibly the busiest man in the world. Yet his love for his daughters is something that everyone knows about. When we think of an ideal cool dad, he instantly comes to mind." For his part, Bharat considers himself to be in the cool dad league. "I think it is important to spend time with my son now, because, before I know it, he'll be all grown up and would cringe at the thought of spending time with his dad. He seems to be enjoying it now and I am having a blast. We both love Spiderman and I spend a lot of time with him bonding over the wall crawler's antics," he laughs. His wife Madhuri adds, "He spends so much time with Harsh that sometimes I feel left out; but in a way it's so great to see them bond like this. However, when it comes to discipline issues, I have to be the bad guy since Bharat can't bring himself to shout at Harsh." According to Jaishri Ramakrishnan, a psychologist, parenting alone doesn't suffice. "Effective parenting is what is important. It needs to become a part of something that you have to do. If you are fond of kids, naturally you become more involved and bonding happens. Also, love should be unconditional and come from within. Just spending time alone is not enough. Emotional involvement is essential," she advises. Stay at Home Dads? Although dads like helping out with household chores and taking care of kids at the same time, being a stay-at-home dad is something that not all men are comfortable about. "Being a parent is a lot trickier and it's not merely about handling domestic chores. I think people who stay at home, to tend to the house as well as the children are very underrated. Unless you actually do it, most people don't realise how challenging it is," says theatre person Freddy Koikaran, who is also the father of a toddler, Mark. But he still maintains that bonding is important, "We have showers together, and I bathe him with his baby soap and shampoo and that's always fun. We also have all meals together, so that he gets used to us spending time as a family. And it's a given that he gets cuddled and kissed a lot, which I am sure he will resent as he gets older," he adds. He may not be crazy like a fool, but he definitely is 'daddy cool'. Tips for the would-be daddy: Dr Jaishri's tips for the would be daddy: Think positive and be positive Even a newborn child, has a personality of their own. It is important to understand their personality. It is important to pick up cues that your child gives you and respond to it. Learn how to tackle tantrums. Know when to yield and when not to. Reality is what 'is', and values are what 'ought to be'. Parents need to bridge that gap between what is and what ought to be. Most kids, irrespective of whether they are a boy or a girl, think of dad's as role models. Do what the child enjoys doing rather than what you enjoy, with the child. Look at taking care of the baby as a team effort rather than just something that one of you does.