The Empress is one of those eaty boozers that, for reasons of location – Victoria Park, posh enough to heave with professionals, not posh enough to contain many idle rich – is very busy in the evenings and eerily serene in the day. I call it 'eerie' – actually I rather liked it, since it resulted in amazing service, like being the Queen. It has grand Victorian pub proportions, hugely high ceilings, a long bar, generous windows; judiciously, not much has been done to chic it up. There are some stickers on the wall featuring flying dogs – I can't think of many spaces that aren't improved by a flying dog – and large, modish drop lights. It's all very simple. I cannot imagine a person who'd dislike it, apart from people who find the goal of inoffensiveness offensive in itself. We started with a pig's ear (£3.50). I've only ever seen these dried and whole, in the jaws of a dog, but T swore that they were Nigella's favourite TV snack, which was good enough for me. Imagine a pork scratching, just as crunchy but with a bass chewiness, just as moreish but without that stale top-note of plastic bag, and just as salty. Totally lovely. If I had my youth again, I would spend some of it in here, eating nothing but bar snacks. I then had the ox tongue with julienned kohlrabi and radish, dotted with capers, sprigged with a bit of watercress (£6). A splash of mustardy mayo would have turned it into a remoulade; as it was the vegetables tasted a bit plain, but I understood the purpose of that when I tasted the tongue, which had all the depth of beef but more subtlety and needed this pastel background to show its effect. The Ginger Pig round the corner supplies all the meat, and its superiority is evident throughout. T, meanwhile, had sprats and aioli (£5.50), which were given the whitebait treatment: deep-fried, standing upwards in a glass like a surprised fish army. They're too large for this, in my view: I can pop the teeny head of a smaller fish into my mouth without a thought, but we both ended up dismembering these ham-fistedly, which took so long the batter went soggy. T did tremendously well with his guinea fowl (£14.50), though. The meat itself was moist, gamey, firm, excellent. It arrived on borlotti beans, cooked in a meaty stock then laced with caramelised onions, and these were delicious. Some radicchio draped itself languidly about; I didn't really see the point of it, but T said it was for colour. Without it the plate would have looked a bit beige. I had the pollack with curried cauliflower and lime (£13.50). The fish was beautifully seared, sprinkled with the mildest combination of curry spices, flaking with freshness and attractively opaque in the middle. The lime was the moment of surprise, and it was a good one; cauliflower can be a bit drainy for my liking, but the citrus bounced off its solid, earthy personality. If I hadn't liked T's guinea fowl fractionally more, I would have loved this. Envy is a corrosive thing, and it happened again with our puds; I had the blueberry and almond tart (£5.50), which was really good in its filling, but the pastry case was too cakey, and didn't strike much of a textural contrast. And this redounded on its taste, since without any contrast it was just a cake next to a less-nice cake. But the whole thing was good, especially with crème fraîche in a simple but effective supporting role. T had ginger panna cotta with rhubarb (£5.50), which was fabulous. The creaminess against the ginger was a revelation, the poached rhubarb was beautifully sweet and sharp. I'd be here ceaselessly if it were my local; you'd have to hose me out. I'd take the slight undulations of quality as part of life's exciting roulette. A RIGHT ROYAL TREAT... Queens Arms Corton Denham, Somerset (01963 220317) This old stone pub gets a thumbs-up from drinkers and diners alike. Drop by for a pint of ale and a home-made pork pie, or linger over marinated duck breast, roasted pak-choi and sautéed garlic potatoes (£16.95) Kings Head Inn The Green, Bledington, Oxfordshire (01608 658365) Ramblers on the Oxfordshire Way should refuel at this 16th-century pub on the village green, where starters include rustic terrines and devilled kidneys on toast. Braised lamb comes with warm baby-gem lettuce and a caper, pea and nut salad (£19) Prince Hall Two Bridges, Dartmoor, Devon (01822 890403) Gorgeous views are guaranteed at this small hotel, which overlooks the River Dart and rolling moorland beyond. The menu regularly stars home-grown produce, including pork belly from their own pigs, with sweet-potato pommes anna and baby carrots (£39.95 for three courses)
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